The Diary
by Hogwarts-fanatic91
Summary: Lily hates James, James is head over heels for Lily, will a gift from Sirius to Lily change the way she see's things? j&l, first fan fic :)
1. Beginning

Disclaimer- well im sure u all know what im gonna say.... The amazing JK Rowlings owns the whole hp world, but I own ruth and some other pepl.....enjoy! and don't forget to review!

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Lily gazed around the common room. It was Christmas break, so most of the students where gone to spend time with their family. But there were still a few people hanging around. Her best friend, Ruth was reading by the warm, crackling fire, and a couple of other kids were playing wizards chess. The common room was decorated by mistletoe and holly leaves. A huge Christmas tree stood in the corner, with rich, dark green branches, and sparkly star ornaments. Her seat, which was right next to the fire, felt pleasantly warm. She sleepily blinked a few times while thinking, 'only two more days till Christmas.....'

Lily woke up to find Ruth standing over her, shaking her awake.

"Come on lil! You're gonna miss dinner!" Lilly slowly opened her eyes and looked at her friend, she had curly, dirty blonde hair, which she wore half up, and big blue eyes with long lashes. Willing herself awake, she pushed herself off the plushy chair and stretched. Ruth stood off to the side, impatiently tapping her foot, and checking her watch. Lily laughed as she stifled a yawn.

"Ugh! You awake yet?! Come on! I'm starving!" she pulled Lily's hand and led her out of the common room and into the hallway. Soon they were in the great hall, and Lily gasped in surprise. It was like, literally walking into a winter wonderland, however cheesy that might sound. The walls were covered with silver sparkles and strings of holly were bordering the room. About a dozen Christmas trees stood along the walls too, the biggest at the end near the professor's table, all with decorations like the tree in the gryffindor common room. Walking inside, she noticed there were several strategically placed mistletoe's, and the tablecloths where decorated with green and red. The hall was almost full, and she took her normal seat beside Ruth, and across from her other friend, Lupin. Lupin was sitting there, with his short light brown hair, and Lilly could see that he looked a bit sick.

"Lupin, are you feeling alright?" she asked, concerned. He gave a small smile and looked at her,

"Not so much, but I'll get better." She nodded, and looked on the right side of Lupin. Sitting there was Sirius, James best friend, and to the left of Lupin was James, who she detested. Next to James was Wormtail, a twitchy little guy that liked to hang out with bigger, more powerful people, or A.K.A, Sirius and James, the biggest pranksters in the school. Both of them had every girl fawning over them, James and his (in Lily's opinion) cocky attitude, blasting people he disliked because he was all tough (he played seeker), ruffling his hair because he liked it to look like he just got off his broomstick. Then there was Sirius, with big brown eyes and brown hair that fell near his eyes, and his lazy grin. He was just as bad as James though, his accomplice in crime. The four of them, James, Sirius, Lupin, and Wormtail call themselves the four Maurderare's (think I spelled that wrong), though Lilly had no idea why. They had all decided to spend Christmas vacation here too.

She was broken from her thoughts though, when Ruth waved her hands in front of her face.

"Lil! Earth to Lil! I was talking to you"

Lilly sheepishly smiled and softly mumbled, "sorry."

But just then, the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, had stood up to indicate the start of dinner. A glorious meal appeared infront of everbody, whiping every thought on everyone's minds, but food.

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Don't worry, this story's gonna go somewhere, remember to review! and i just started so it would really be nice if you gave me some advice for my format and stuff too :) thx! 


	2. Chapter 2

When dinner had ended, Lily and Ruth wobbled upstairs to their dormitories for one thought only: sleep. But unfortunately for them, they didn't get to do this as soon as they liked. Just as they stepped out of the great hall and turned to go up the stairs, they encountered James, Sirius and Wormtail.

"Hey Evans" James said, looking around at her, ruffling his hair as he leaned against the staircase railing, "Haven't seen you in a while"

Lily groaned and turned around to Ruth.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope, must be the wind" Ruth replied loyally. Together they began to climb the stairs, but Sirius stepped in front of them.

"Come on Lil, James was just being nice," he looked over to James who said with a grin, "Course I was, I'm always nice around the ladies" he wiggled his eyebrows sarcastically. Lily almost gagged, but instead she turned to Sirius.

"Move" she grunted. Sirius laughed.

"Me?"

"No, she was talking to the suit of armor jackass," Ruth said, glaring at Sirius. The two of them, in the beginning of the year had been good friends. But since Ruth had been blamed for planting a dungbomb in the Charms room, which Sirius had actually done, she has been acting very stiffly around him.

"Ruth, I don't know what's gotten into you lately. First the dungbomb, now this..." Sirius said with a fake gasp. Instantly, Ruth whipped out her wand and pointed it at Sirius's face, looking livid. As soon as Wormtail saw this he gave a cry and stepped backwards into the shadow of the stairs.

"Give me a reason" she said bluntly. But before Sirius could reply, Lily reached out and pushed down Ruth's wand slowly, pointing it at the floor. She shook her head, and said,

"Trust me, It's not worth it Ruth, or I would have cursed them a long time ago." Then, pushing past Sirius and James, she headed upstairs with Ruth at her heels. Ruth was gritting her teeth.

"One of these days.... Sirius is gonna get it..."

"Yeah, that'll be the day. It'll deflate him and James big head's" Lily murmered as they reached the Fat Lady's portrait, "fiddlededums"

"I don't get why you hate James so much. I mean, I dont like him either, but you've hated him since you first saw him" Ruth said frowning

"Oh, um... it's a long story,"

Ruth gave Lily a questioning look, but didn't ask.

Either of the girls didn't say anything until they reached the girl's dormitories. After changing into their PJ's, they bade each other goodnight, and slipped into their beds.


	3. Chapter 3

malini- thx so much! glad to know you liked it!

and heres chapter 2....

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"Dammit, why doesn't she like me?" James asked Sirius as both of them walked into the boys dormitory after dinner, "I've never done anything wrong to her!"

Sirius shook his head and sighed, "I just don't know mate." James grabbed a handful of his messy hair in fustration and fell into the bed facedown. He said in a muffled voice,

"She's making me crazy! I want her so bad, but she hates me! God, I'm gonna get a freakin ulcer from all this." He turned around and now lay staring at the ceiling. Sirius looked at James with ,an unlikely saw, serious expression on his face.

"James, look, she's making you miserable. You need to get over her. Maybe you should hook up with that blonde in transfiguration class, get your mind off Lily " He grinned, but quickly stopped when he saw the look on James face. James had a dreamy expression on, and Sirius realized that James was looking like that because he had said Lily's name.

"Prongs! Snap out of it!" James instantly lost his expression and looked a little embarressed.

"Sirius, I don't think I can get over her, I really don't," James mumbled still staring at the ceiling, "She's the one, i know it." he added softly so Sirius couldn't hear.

"What was that last bit?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, er, nothing," But he didn't need to lie, Sirius had heard what he said, though he didn't tell James.

"I can try to talk to her again, you never know, she might listen this time," Sirius said, trying to cheer his best friend up, but looking doubtful. James sat up slowly, and started walking to the door with a miserable expression on, and muttered half to himself, half to Sirius,

"Nah, I'm gonna go for a walk, maybe go for a ride on my broomstick. yeah..... that sounds good..." He walked out the door without another look at Sirius, and obviously not thinking about how cold it was outside. Sirius stared at the door James had walked through, not moving. He had, just suddently hatched a brilliant idea. ' James is gonna kill me..... if he finds out.... but it just might work... yeah....' Sirius thought to himself as he walked over to James's bed. Croutching down, he grabbed something from under it, and grinned in spite himself as he started looking at it.

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Lily kicked up the soft covers that lay on her bed sleepily, and sat up stretching. She glanced at her watch on her left wrist (9:47), and looked out the window. She smiled as she looked down and saw about 3 untouched inched of snow, and some still falling down. Lily loved the way untouched snow looked, like a jar of whipped cream. Her eyes scanned the snow covered tree tops, and the dozen or so owls flying all over the grounds. 'Tomorrow's Christmas' she thought and smiled broader. She looked over to Ruth's bed and saw she was still sleeping.

"Better not wake her" she said in a small voice, and tip-toed out of the dormitory, careful not to wake up anyone else either. She walked down the stairs, and out of the empty common room to the owlery. When she entered, she gazed up at the beautiful arrangement of owls, some shaking off thin layers of snow from their backs. The owlery had a very high ceiling with ledges for owls to rest, and an open window, with no glass. Lily shivered pleasantly, and coaxed down a small, white school owl. He landed on her arm, and she softly petted him with her finger. Then, reaching into her pocket, she brought out a letter she had written to her parents a few days ago to wish them Merry Christmas, and tied it to the owl's foot with a bit of string. She then leaned towards the owl's ear and whispered,

"Just don't let Petunia get it first, ok?" With that, she let the owl go and watched as he grew smaller and smaller in the snowy sky.

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I don't like writing long chapters, I don't know why..... I'll write the next chapter when I get back from from the movies (Napoleon Dynamite lol), remeber to review!


	4. Chapter 4

Thx to everone who reviewed! I really appreciate it!

I promise this chapters gonna be longer lol....

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Lily leaned on the wall for a few minutes after the owl flew away, enjoying the peace and quiet of the morning. She left when she heard her stomach growl, and walked down to the great hall. When she entered she saw Ruth, looking as if she would fall asleep over her toast, at the Gryffindor table. Lily frowned and sat down next to her friend, loading eggs onto her plate. 

"Why are you so tired?" Ruth looked up and shrugged, clumsily grinding sleep out of her eyes.

"couldn't... (she yawned)... falsleep....last night,"

"Why not?"

"Oh... er.... I dunno" Ruth said slowly, starting at her bacon, "prob'ly because I was so excited bout Christmas" she added, still staring at her bacon, not looking Lily in the eye.

"Are you talking to your bacon, or me?" Lily said chuckling. She looked curiously at Ruth, but took her excuse anyway," Yeah, I'm excited about Christmas too."

Both of them ate in silence until Remus Lupin showed up, and him and Lily started chatting about the N.E.W.T.S, Ruth half asleep next to them.

"It's coming up close you know, just next year. I'm not really worried about the transfiguration test though, just potions." Lupin said taking a swip of his pumpkin juice.

"Oh, don't worry about it Lupin, you'll do fine. You always ace the end of year exams" Lily said, and then added in a polite tone, eyeing his pale skin," But are you sure you're ok? you look a little off-color"

He shook his head and stated that he was fine. Then he said a hasty goodbye and got up and left.

"Hm... I wonder whats up with him," Lily pondered to Ruth. Then Lily looked over at her and laughed, Ruth had fallen asleep on her plate. Trying to shake her awake, she didn't notice two new arrivals at the table.

"Hey Lil.Whoa, don't think we should eat the food Wormtail, looks like it knocked Ruth here out." Lily turned around and saw Sirius and Wormtail sitting across from her, both looking at Ruth. Lily replied coldly,

"She's asleep, but by all means, don't eat the food. I don't think theres enough for you and your ego here anyway Black." She was just about to leave, when she remembered that Ruth was still asleep, and she couldn't leave her. So Lily had to stay.

"Why's she asleep?" Wormtail questoned, his watery eyes darting over Ruth's face and the eggs spilled around her. Lily looked at him and raised an eyebrow, then she said slowly as if talking to someone who was very stupid,

"Because she's tired, you sleep when you're tired." Sirius gave a bark-like laugh, and Ruth woke up in a start.

"Whers da fire...?" She asked thickly, brushing the eggs off her face. Then looking in front of her, she snorted.

"Should've known" Ruth said looking at Sirius, then turned to Lily, who was trying to supress a smile, "How long have I benalseep?

"Um... not long" Lily answered, "We should probabley go back up to the common room, you need sleep." Ruth nodded and got up, brushing off the eggs all over her front. Sirius chuckled,

"Nice look for you" Ruth gave him a disgusted look and replied,

"So, is today your day to babysit Wormtail ?"

Sirius eyes twinkled as he said, "No, it's James turn, I'm just filling in for a while," Peter gave a confused squeak and turned his watery eyes to Sirius, but Sirius didn't notice.

"Oh, and speaking of James, he was talking an awful lot about you last night," Sirius lazily grinned, and turned to Lily, watching her face for a reaction. But Lily didn't show any signs of interest. She stood up quickly, the only thing that would ruin her morning was to talk about that person.

"As if I care, Com' on Ruth," With that, both girls walked out of the great hall and up to the common room (fiddlededums). As soon as they entered, Ruth colapsed in Lily's regular chair and fell fast asleep. Lily went up to the girl's dormatory and grabbed one of her favorite muggle books, 'The Giver', and read for the rest of the morning near the windowsill.

She took a break for lunch (Ruth had woke up and was braiding a second year girl's hair), then went for a walk with Ruth around the castle. They enjoyed trying to find secret passage ways, and shortcuts, and singing Christmas carols with the suits of armor. Then they had a small snow fight with some other Gryffindors and Ravenclaws that were outside, and went in when it was dark, drying off for dinner.

After dinner (they had avoided Sirius, James and Wormtail....Lupin wasn't there) they both climbed into their beds, and made an agreement that the first person to wake up was to wake up the other. But they were so excited for the next day that they couldn't sleep, so Lily told Ruth a few stories about the muggle's Santa Clause and elfs (sort of like house-elves... hm...). Ruth fell off her bed laughing when Lily told her about Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, and sung her the song.

After about a half an hour of story telling, both of them bade eachother good night, and snuggled into their fluffly beds.

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That took me a while, wrote it all at once....kinda makes you think though, bout house elves, did JK did her idea from Santa's elves? just an idea... hope you liked the new chapter! remember to review! 


	5. Chapter 5

Finally! I think this chapters gonna be the last...hope you like it!

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The sound of a howl from outside woke Lily up in a start. She blinked a few times and the Girl's dormitory came into a groggy focus. It was still dark outside, and as she glanced at her watch, only 4:03. Mentaly cursing herself for being a light sleeper, she stretched, knowing she wouldn't fall back asleep. Lily looked over at Ruth's bed, and of course, she was asleep, but something suddently jogged her memory. She gave a gasp and realized she had forgotten it was Christmas! 

Laughing, she peered over the foot of her bed and saw a heep of wrapped presents sitting there. She lept off her bed, and knelt down on the cold wooden ground, feeling like a little girl again. Reaching out, she grabbed the nearest present, with a metallic green bow, and looked at the label (it was from her grand-mum). She wasn't going to open any presents until Ruth woke up, they always opened them together.

Lily then looked over at her best friends bed, and thought of the promise they had made eachother the night before, the first to wake up was to wake up the other. But Lily knew that if she woke Ruth up this early, she would not be in a very peachy mood. A mental battle began in Lily's head, and finally she decided not to wake up Ruth until it was at least 7:00.

So Lily began to sort through her presents, looking at the cards and trying to guess what they were. When she got to the bottom of the pile she smiled, and picked up a single red rose and a note that lay on top of it. Puzzled, she read the message;

_Evans-_

_I hope you like the rose, I enchanted it to shimmer and change colors. (_Lily looked down and saw that she was now holding a bright purple rose)_I'll be down in the common room around 9:00 waiting if you want to join me for breakfast. See you soon_

_Your's truly,_

_James_

When Lily glanced at the name scrawled at the bottom, she threw the letter aside with the rose in disgust. What would make him think that she would even want to be near him? Doesn't he ever give up, she obiously hates him. She snorted, and pushed the rose and card under the bed, not wanting to look at it. She was going to have a good Christmas, nothing was going to ruin it.

Lily sighed and picked up the last present. It was badly wrapped in brown paper, a bit of the gift was sticking out, and the edges were torn. She picked up the card and read,

_Please just look at it. Merry Christmas,_

_-Sirius_

She squinted suspiciously at the brown package over the note. Sirius would defenetly find it funny to send her a cursed item, and he had never sent her a gift before, but curiosity had got the better of her. Forgetting her and Ruth's tradition, she ripped off the paper.

Underneath was a black book with silver lining around the edges. The cover was blank, and so was the back. Cautiously, knowing what her dad would say if he knew she was opening an unknown magical book, Lily flipped open the cover. To her surprise she found little pictures of snitches all over the first page, and as she leaned closer she realized with a shock that her _initials_ were inside the sniches.

Intrigued, Lily turned the page and saw a diary entry, labeled January 25.

_Dear Diary,_

_Mum sent this for Christmas, reckons its good for me to write stuff down, and I promised her I would use it. If Sirius saw this, he would laugh, so I hid it under my bed, underneath my invisibility cloak. Hopefully nobody will find it._

_I'm at my fifth year at Hogwarts, and nothings really changed since last year, cept we have to take OWLS. Me, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail are taking our monthly visits around the school grounds, which are always fun, though probably not for Moony. Snivillius is still a slimy git, and Lily still won't go out with me. I really don't know why, I've never done anything to hurt her, but it seems like she hates me. Sirius keeps on telling me to let it go, but I can't. I don't know why, but I can't. She's driving me crazy. God, I would never say this outloud, but I think I'm in love. She has the most georgeous green eyes I've ever seen. Lately, I've been finding myself staring at her from across the classroom, or the common room when she's doing her homework with Ruth. I really do hope things will get better..._

_James_

Lily took her eyes away from the page. She felt so revulted at James for writing about her in his diary, but another feeling was tugging at Lily's heart too. She soon found that it was guilt. Guilt for being that mean to him. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, Lily felt like punching herself. How could she even think that?! James had deserved what he's gotten! But then the guilt came back, and another thought came with it too. Why does he deserve it? He has never really done anything bad to her.

She rubbed her temples and remembered Ruth asking her that question a few days ago.

_"I don't get why you hate James so much. I mean, I dont like him either, but you've hated him since you first saw him"_

Lily remembered her answer to, _"Oh, um... it's a long story,"_

But that was a lie. In fact, she didn't know what the answer was. Why did Lily hate him so much?

The guilt took over fully now, there was no reason for her actions. She felt a last pang of anger towards Sirius for making her realize this, and thought if James knew that Sirius had given her his diary.

Lily took her hands off her temple, and leafed through the rest of the pages. She would stop and skim the text when she saw her name, which was almost on each page. The last one was dated about one week ago, and it sounded really depressed. Was it her making him depressed? James told her that he liked ever chance he got, and she replied by ignoring and yelling at him. God, she felt horrible. Lily put her head in her hands and stared at the diary for a long time.

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I had a lot of fun writing the journal entry lol. Theres one more to go, and that'll be it. I hope it doesn't sound too cheesy, I really don't like stories like that. Please review!


	6. Last Chapter

Ruth stetched and opened her eyes, revealing a semi-lit girls dormitory. She looked over at the window and saw, though frosted around the edges, a cloudy sky, with the sun peeking through. She yawned and looked up across the room to Lily's bed. Lily was sitting cross legged on the covers, with her head in her hands, staring at something. Ruth cleared her throught loudly. Lily gave a shriek and jumped, taking her hands off her head, and shoving the thing she was looking at under the covers. Ruth saw that she had dark lines under her eyes.

"Morning! It's Christmas!" Ruth yelled gleefully as she bounced to the end of her bed, and hung over the bed rail to check out her presents. Smiling excitedly, she grabbed the nearest one, and slid back under the covers.

"Mornin Ruth, Merry Christmas,"Lily said, trying to sound cheerful. But she felt awful, and Ruth noticed this.

"What's got you down?! It's Christmas! And what were you staring at before?" Lily looked up, alarmed.

"Nothing, it's nothing." she forced a laugh, "I've been up since 4! I guess I'm just tired, couldn't fall back asleep." Ruth laughed too, caught up in shaking her present,

"Wow, 4, that stinks. Did you open any yet?"

"No, was waiting for you," Lily, and with less enthusiasm as Ruth, got a gift from her pile. She looked up, and both of them began to open their present. Soon Lily took on her little giddish routine, and forgot totally about the diary and James. Bits of paper, ribbons, cards and clothes were flying around the room for the next half an hour, the girl's having the time of their lives. When the last present was stripped down, Lily and Ruth began to organize their new stuff, Ruth holding a new broom. She was still staring at it breathlessly,

"Wow... still can't believe.....moms amazing......" Ruth murmered, her hand gliding over the polished handle.

"Yea, that's pretty cool, Ruth" Lily said grinning as she began to make her bed, her presents set on the floor. But when she lifted up the cover, something fell out and landed on the floor with a _thud._ Lily quickly crouched down, and picked up the item, James's diary, and the grin faded from her face. She glanced at her watch (8:41), and shoved the diary under her bed, making sure the Ruth hadn't seen her.

But just after she pushed the diary under, Lily caught sight of a bright lime green petal sticking out. Frowning, she bent down again, her head laying on the cold ground, and looked under the bed. Lily instantly saw a lime green rose laying there in the dust, and a card next to it. To her great surprise, she actually blushed, and had to tug down a smile. She reached out, and grabbed both of the items, and brushed the dust off of them. It was wierd, this morning she felt disgusted at having the rose sent to her, and didn't give a damn about the person who had sent it- James. But now, she felt, well, she had blushed hadn't she?

She turned her back to Ruth, and glanced at the card, fingering the (now pink) rose petals. Once she had reread the letter James gave to her, she stumbled up, and pulled on her robes over her PJs. Then, looking nervous, she crossed the room to the door. Lily muttered a 'be right back' to Ruth, who just nodded distactingly, still gazing at her broom. Then, Lily raced down the stairs, clutching the rose, and dropping the card into her pocket.

The common room was full with gryffindors showing off their gifts, and wishing eachother Merry Christmas. However, Lily wasn't interested in any of this. She gazed around the common room, and saw James sitting with Sirius and Wormtail in the corner, poring over a piece of paper.

Lily strode over to them, and called James name. Sirius saw her first and was giving her a quick, questioning look. Lily gave him a small smile, which he returned excitedly. When finally James looked up and saw her, he grinned widely, and stood up, ruffling his handsome hair. Before he could say anything to her though, she stepped up against him, and looped her arms around his neck, pressing him into a long kiss. The thrill of his lips against her gave Lily a tingling that she felt down to her toes. She realized she had finally done the right thing.

When she pulled away, and saw his face, she laughed. He looked utterly shocked, but he quickly recovered and beamed at her. Blushing slightly, Lily looked down at her hand with the yellow rose, and said softly,

"James, um... thanks for the rose"

_the end_

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lol yay! they finally got together! I really hope you liked this story! This is the last chapter, but I might write another story, like with baby Harry and stuff..... remember to review! 


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